product placement

Got a chuckle a while back thinking about where things are placed in stores and what it says.

Noticed that at Kohl's, women's lingerie is located in a corner. Right beside it is the maternity section. Across the aisle from lingerie one ways is boxers and suits. Across the other aisle is bedding. Can't help but wonder if this was done on purpose or if it was completely intentional. After all, suits are sexy. A man in a suit can be very successful at getting women into just lingerie (or less). Which tends to happen in a bedroom and can lead to needing maternity clothes. Whether on purpose or accidental, this made me laugh.

The other thing that always catches my attention is that alongside the tampons and pads and yeast infection cream, there are usually condoms. Pretty appropriate, but does kinda make it seem like pregnancy prevention is the woman's responsibility since they are right beside all those girlie things.

time flies and things change

Exactly 23 months ago today, I came home to an email that at the time I thought was destroying my life and all my well laid plans. In that email, by (now ex)fiance broke off our engagement. This was at the same time that I was being forced out of my job teaching in Thomasville which I both loved and hated and was preparing to move back in with my parents in Hickory for a few months until Ben and I were married in December. At the time, I thought that email was the worst thing that could have happened to me. It in fact, made me physically sick. I was being left by the person who I had invested so much time, energy, and emotion into with very little real explanation. 23 months later, there is still little explanation as to why except depression, confusion, and selfishness. However, the past 23 months have made me realize that being left through an email is perhaps one of the best things that could have happened to me.

23 months later, I now am in grad school, currently with a 4.0 GPA in a library science program. I have purchased a house. I have two dogs whom I adore. I have found a great group of friends in Hickory, who I never would have met if I had not moved back. I am happier at this point in my life than I have been in a very long time. In fact, happier than I have been 4 or 5 years. Yes, I had to do a lot of reinvent and rediscover myself because I had lost sight of myself during my relationship with Ben. It was well worth it though.

Ben leaving me in an email has made me realize that I deserve much better. I don't deserve someone who will allow me to make them the center of my world or who will do the same. I need someone who will allow me to be myself, allow me to experiment, make mistakes, and be silly or serious when I want to be. Someone who will not demand that I try to be a good role model as long as I am being myself. I deserve someone who will not grumble if I decide to cook just vegetables for supper and will understand that it is hard for me to accept compliments on cooking. I deserve someone who will accept my insecurities and when I follow my tendency to overload myself will essentially slap some sense into me and make me take something off myself. I deserve someone who will not take advantage of the fact that I strive to make everyone around me happy, but will instead support me in it and help me to realize when it's not in my power to make everyone happy. I deserve someone who will not scare me when he gets angry.

Amazing the change that 23 months has wrought. Looking forward to seeing what changes the next 23 will bring. Hopefully, I will be working in a library somewhere doing reference. My dogs will be well. I will have a better relationship with family. I will continue to make improvements to the house and continue to make new friends in Hickory while re-establishing and ties with old ones. I will become more active in my church. Continue weaving, hopefully eventually it becoming more than just a hobby. These are my goals for the next 23 months....let's see where they take me.

fun seeming jobs

1. water gun tester
2. paint color namer -
3. plant namer - toe tickler clover
4. perfume scent maker
5. bubble wrap quality tester- pop, pop, pop....too weak
6. door bell ring designer- wouldn't it be fun to make horribly annoying ones
7. bubble bath tester- just need some wine and candles to make it almost heaven

confessions....or things I wouldn't admit to most people

1. When I was little, I totally ate wall paste. It tasted horrible- a mixture of mud and cardboard. In my defense, it was in a Cool Whip carton on the counter.

2. At one point, I refused to drink water. I came to the realization that it was dinosaur pee at some point and the thought thoroughly disgusted me. While I do drink water now, I every now and again think about this and am repulsed that I am drinking dino pee.

3. On the topic of pee, I have willingly peed outside several times, not all were of necessity.

4. I find belly buttons rather fascinating. So many different shapes and sizes. Side note- why are some "innies" and others "outies"...must try to research.

5. I read an entire set of encyclopedias over the summer one year in elementary school. Wish I had the time to do it again now that I am an adult.

6. I really want to go and see a burlesque show and roller derby. I don't think I can find either any place close to Hickory though. If anyone has suggestions, please pass them on.

7. I often wish that I some of the books I read could come to life and that I could be an observer of the characters.

8. I worry when I sometimes go for days with eating very little (for the simple fact I am not hungry or am extremely busy) that I am either
a) a closet anorexic
b) have a terrible disease
c) eating in my sleep

Seems like enough for now, such is the product of a sleepy brain, but a not sleepy body.

wow.....that's what it's all about

I tend to be a very sentimental person. Every now and then, I see something that will just stop me in my tracks and make me either cry or smile. I had one of those experiences tonight while walking the dogs.

Normally, I hate Valentine's day with a passion. It's basically just a commercial invention and places far more importance that necessary on having that "special someone". It's a holiday that makes everyone who does not participate feel like crap. That said, it's a given that I don't particularly like seeing Valentines flowers and notes. Mostly, they annoy me. What I saw tonight though was different. Part of my walk with the dogs takes us past a cemetery. I always look around to see if there are any flowers that have blown over and make the effort to pick them up and straighten things out. It just so happened that today, a bouquet of cut flowers was blown over on a gravestone. As I picked them up, I noticed that it was a relatively cheap grocery store type bouquet, but that it had a note in it. It turned out that the wife (whose grave the flowers were on) had died in the spring of last year. Her husband had bought her flowers for Valentine's Day and had written her a love note. I absolutely bawled when I realized what he had done. That gesture completely describes what love truly is. Feeling inspired, once I got home, I filled a bottle to refill the water in the flowers. I cried once again while watering them.

It's hard to think about many people making the gesture that this little old man made for his wife. It was just absolutely touching.

disney princess movies

This idea has been fomenting in my head for quite sometime. I know I posted it once as a status on Facebook, but I feel the need to expound more upon it tonight. I have grown increasingly dissatisfied with Disney Princess movies over the years, in as far as how they impact how girls think. They are performing an incredible dis-service.

In all the Princess movies, just when things in her life have gotten horrible, some charming prince sweeps in and makes everything wonderful again. The process doesn't take long, sometimes even just the day that they meet. However, in real life, that is all too often not the case. In real life, "Princ Charming" doesn't come riding in on a white horse to rescue us. Instead, "Prince Charming" can cause a lot of very real damage and doesn't almost instantly make everything okay.

The other thing about the Princess movies that bothers me is that while the Princess rebel against authority sometimes (Jasmin, Ariel, Mulan, Cinderella), once they meet their Prince, they generally submit to him. Disney is teaching girls to obey the men in relationships, and to lose sight of themselves. That is something that should never happen in a relationship. Instead, things should be equal and have compromise.
While I love the Princess movies for the stories, the hidden message that they convey is just disturbing.

library idea....

I was lying in bed a few nights ago and came upon an idea I would like to try at some point for a library. Many churches will have a small parish library, largely of donated books. This is a wonderful, if mostly unknown resource, for church members. It might be kind of fun to expand the parish library to make it be larger and then to have a service of traveling library offered to the seniors and shut-ins. For the service to be viable, it would require a good bit of funding and a lot of work on the part of the librarian, selecting books for each of the patrons and taking them to houses. It would be fun though and a very social and interactive experience as a librarian. Definitely a little bit different of a take and it wouldn't work in every church, but something fun to think about.