the time has come

Or so the walrus said to talk of many things. Guess that's what I will be doing soon. The depression that I have battled on and off for years has come back recently, so I have scheduled myself an appointment for some counseling. Considering the past year and a half of my life, I am surprised that I did not get to this point sooner. I was at this point just over a year ago, but managed to eventually pull myself out with the support of several friends. (Thank you all) Over the past month or so though, I have felt myself slipping and sliding back into that deep, dark hole. Doesn't help that every time I get excited about the possibility of my life gaining some resemblance of what it "should be" right now that things come crashing down in a glorious display of sparks and flames which then ignite a series of smaller (and usually quite easily managed)setbacks and annoyances. I have reached the point now that even something quite trivial can set me to crying...and it's happening more frequently. So, counseling is scheduled for next Tuesday. I just hope that the expense will be worth it and will help to prevent me from going back on meds to manage it. Lord knows, I got issues...many stemming from the last year and a half, but some from much farther back. Hope that talking it out will help and that I can learn some new techniques for managing things other than my current version of giving myself almost no free time so that I keep busy and don't think about things.